What Am I Doing Here...???!!! Again...???!!!

AbOuT mE
Fun loving
Outdoor Person
Does Handicrafts
Computers
Minor in Video Editing
Trying Graphic Editing
Loves a good GAME
Enjoy making FRENs

ArChIvEs

FaVoUrItE lInKs

Kokoro Flash animation Gallery features a series of Flash short stories. There are very touching... The best thing is, they are DOWNLOADABLE!!!

Ninjai, The Little Ninja is our online action/adventure series. We invite you to join Ninjai on his exciting, enlightening and sometimes humorous journey as he travels throughout the Ancient World.

All Smallville Fans out there, this is the site for all of you... Devoted to Smallville site gives You the latest updates on the Smallville story and also is a Forum for you all to post your comments!!! One Site you all shouldn't miss out!!!

mUsiC

空无一人的小房间

Thursday, October 16, 2008

It has been a while since I came back to this place. =) A very long while. Each time I am here for a purpose, I end up hurting myself more. I don't know how many of those scars I have got. Most of the time, I got new scars before the previous one has healed. Sometimes I wonder why I keep allowing myself to get hurt like this. And end up I can never answer that question. All the timeless waiting, waiting for things to appear, I just stood there preparing myself for the new wound that I be getting. Many may think that I am being stupid. But I think if anyone else in the same situation, he or she will be doing the same thing. All this irrational behaviour, actions based purely from emotions, cannot really be explained. Long long time ago, it would be a daily routine. It was really happy back then. =)

不管我多么想忘记，
阴影永远存在。
好怀念以前那快乐的时候，
想起来，甜甜的。
就像是昨天刚刚才发生，
印象还是那么得清楚。

From learning how to DIY from the bros, to now teaching others and exploring new methods. Started another Blog for this. Diylancerex.blogspot.com Didn't want to hog the forum too much. Hopefully can discover more projects along the way. It has been fun so far, but mainly I was trying to take my mind off some things. Otherwise I might just go bonkers.

Been delaying on this post for a while. Work got busy. I got tired easily. Hmmm. Is there something wrong with me? Didn't go for the health check-up, scared. I think I know I got many problems, but no motivation to solve them. Like I mentioned before, my life is just work, eat, sleep, think of problem... That's about it. Been trying very hard to 'solve' the problem but I think I just create more problems. Really, please just tell me what to do...

口是心非，是这样吗？
我不了解，你知道吗？
时时想念，刻刻思念。
就像空气，没有形状。
无法捉摸，但不能没有。

IS call and ask me to go eat eat shop shop. =) Haven't seen my sis for long long time. Ate at F&C at TM. Brings back memories... =X She say she heard from YH that I wasn't too happy with my new workplace. Well, wasn't happy is correct, but really got nothing to do with the workplace. She was telling me how school was, how she feels like an undergrad again, new work techniques. =) I only listen. Talk a little abt work, but mostly listen. Listening... Basically what I do most... Sometimes I just wish I can talk more, but 'there is no one to talk to'. End up I talk here.

Actually started this blog for fun. Last time, still filled with enthusiasm, I be monitoring how many people read my blog. It was exciting to see the numbers jump. But eventually, it died off. Now I don't know who is still reading. Maybe my post got too 'negative' that it's scaring people away. Now I write as thou I am the only reader. But when I look back, it seems I had forgotten what I was trying to say. =) To forget is always a blessing. Some people tried so hard to forget, but end up remembering so much more.

So many things, so little time... "Mojave" 8:04 PM

At 7:52 PM, Anonymous said...

Me me I'm still reading.. i've been thru low patches of my life and know there is always a rainbow at the end. Cheer up!

jiarun

At 5:54 PM,

Mojave said...

Thanks. =)

At 1:38 AM,

inoka said...

sometimes, i could sleep whole day and still wake up very tired. because every time i close my eyes, they are still looking for something. something that isnt there, anymore. and at times, even being awake has made me want to cry. so hey, you are not alone.

do not write for the internet or the people on it. do it for yourself. maybe if you write them all down. even if sometimes you write only questions, maybe later you be able to find in them the answers.

想忘却忘不掉的还真他妈的多。

At 10:06 AM,

Mojave said...

Thanks inoka

Sometimes i just wonder... Life is fair, you win some you lose some. But it seems most of the time we see the `losing' side more often. Then we will wonder, when is the `winning' period coming... Haiz...

=(

At 7:36 AM,

inoka said...

life is about learning about the truth and how much it hurt, learning how to heal before we even know it, learning what we NEVER are. life is only about us living on borrowed time after all, to measure how wrong we are even before the beginning. when they said life isnt fair, they were not detailed enough.

i guess to a certain extend, we are hopeless. and how sad we both know its true. how strange is that.. xD